i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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