he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
