I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
