I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize