Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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