After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize