i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Randomize
