ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
