That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
