Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
