I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
