haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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