There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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