oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize