clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I understand Curling. That high.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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