you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
