At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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