So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize