oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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