Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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