im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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