Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
