things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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