We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize