Yo dont text me then not text me
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
