I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
