I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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