Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
