So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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