Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
