singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
