bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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