Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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