last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize