who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
