he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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