dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
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