Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
And then he peed in my hair
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