eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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