I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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