My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
