Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
bring money and cleavage
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
