dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
