Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize