hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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