That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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