Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
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