Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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