Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
