considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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