I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
