I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
