i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
