I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
