You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
