Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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