It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
