that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
