O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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