I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
